Wednesday 25 February 2009

Cycling: How It Should Be Done

The cycle menace has reached such a pitch in London now that we pedestrians are taking our lives in our hands if we don't maintain 360-degree surveillance every time we step off the pavement - and indeed while we're still on it. Why is that cyclists are allowed to ignore all traffic rules, signals, one-way systems, all the things that make traffic flow smoothly while giving pedestrians a chance? They are a menace - and not only a menace but a smug, self-righteous, hideously-dressed menace, in their ghastly Lycra and Spandex and their stupid little helmets. This glorious blog shows how it should be done, with style, with chic, with joie de vivre and effortless elan - and without mowing down pedestrians at will. I love it - it's strangely restful and beautiful and, frankly, rather arousing (or is that just me? I think not - see the section Your Favourite Photos...).
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14 comments:

  1. Brit25 February 2009 at 12:11

    They should ban helmets. Not only would it improve the city's aesthetics, but it would encourage cyclists to be less confident and, therefore, dangerous.

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  2. Uncle Dick Madeley25 February 2009 at 14:25

    Oh, here we go... You know that Dick rides a bike and it's a chance to get him back for his mastery of technology. Well, I don't wear a helmet and I often get clipped and pushed off the road by car drivers. Thankfully, there are always pedestrians there to give me a soft landing.

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  3. Nige25 February 2009 at 14:59

    There are cyclists and cyclists Dick. I'm sure DM is a stranger to Spandex and would not be out of place on the boulevards of Copenhagen...

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  4. Boris Legradic25 February 2009 at 15:07

    I guess it's the natural pecking order: After being constantly on the run from stupid SUV drivers (or others, if you are on a bike it really doesn't make much differenc whether you are run over by an SUV or a Micra) who think thatn nothing below two tons belongs on the road, bikers take their frustration out on the only demographic still weaker than them: pedestrians. They have also been seen bullying small children...

    Concerning helmets: I didn't use to wear one, because I have yet to find one that doesn't instantly transform you into some kind of dork, but after a collegue of mine only survived an accident because of his helmet (the friendly hospital personal hung the totally crushed shell above his bed...) I bought one too. Sigh. I'll just practice taking it off quick in case of girls.

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  5. malty25 February 2009 at 15:57

    There is only one classic cycle ride, called the Transalpen Expressway, 600 kilometers in 7 days, starting in Martigny, over the Great St Bernard pass to Aosta and the Gran Paradiso then the awesome Colle del Caro. Thence down the spine of the Maritime Alps, finishing on the seafront in Nice.
    Send them off on that one Nige, they may never come back.

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  6. Nige25 February 2009 at 17:05

    Stone me Malty - that's serious cycling...

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  7. Anonymous25 February 2009 at 18:44

    Freeze all the rivers so we can skate to work.

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  8. Uncle Dick Madeley25 February 2009 at 19:13

    As always, Nige, you are right. I only wear shorts when I cycle. Never Spandex!

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  9. David27 February 2009 at 14:38

    Oooo; ladies on bikes. No wonder Betj got himself so worked up.

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  10. Nige27 February 2009 at 15:30

    Ah yes indeed - and talking of bike saddles ('I think that I should rather like To be the saddle of a bike' - was that Betj?), check out this mind-boggling, eye-watering item...

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  11. David27 February 2009 at 15:59

    Don't show me things like that man! It's only a few months since I cycled from Darlington to Vienna - see www.viennacycle.blogspot.com and the memory of all that Vaseline is still with me.

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  12. malty27 February 2009 at 18:13

    The thing about the Expressway David is you need 25 metres of 9mm Perlon, or otherwise climb a hard v diff with your velocipede on your back, as well as a 14 kilo sack.

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