tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2526736757651414061.post1375503629912377701..comments2024-03-29T10:02:55.374+00:00Comments on Nigeness: Death AgainNigehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13314891387515045404noreply@blogger.comBlogger13125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2526736757651414061.post-63144270223939567272008-12-12T18:39:00.000+00:002008-12-12T18:39:00.000+00:00I work in healthcare and I take complete issue wit...I work in healthcare and I take complete issue with the idea that anyone is consciously barred from the moment of death. Any relative who wishes to be present can be at any time of the day, the hospital I work in will try and set up a bed for relatives in the room and make them a cup of tea when possible. I know of no one close to death whose relatives were deliberately excluded, the phone call you refer to is usually due to an unexpected or sudden deterioration.<BR/><BR/>The medical profession has no interest in hiding away death indeed some people continue to ask us to treat relatives who clearly would not benefit from unpleasant invasive treatment. <BR/><BR/>Ideally more people would die at home in their own surroundings and many a time we have scrambled to try and discharge people because we know their clock is ticking and we want to get them home. In truth it is incredibly hard to look after the needs of a dying person, most families will struggle without a lot of support and this is part of the reason more people die in hospital than perhaps should.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2526736757651414061.post-84606742611276740802008-12-11T21:43:00.000+00:002008-12-11T21:43:00.000+00:00Taboo? I never thought of it that way. But death...Taboo? I never thought of it that way. <BR/><BR/>But death does seem to strike and disturb an emotion that is deep-seated in our psyche. I've personally never become used to seeing it in the hospital (I'm in health care). Most of these deaths affect me in some way--and I'm not talking about professional soul-searching. The effect is more just a raw, sort of a disembodied human emotion. It is not unlike jet lag in some ways, only there is more of a sense of burden to it.<BR/><BR/>And then my own father died, peacefully, and with dignity and on his own terms at home, not long ago. He was the first close relative in my life who's died while I was at his bedside. Many of us were in the room when he passed on. I was speaking into his ear. <BR/><BR/>I experienced emotions during and after that for which I was ill-prepared, despite all my other experiences with patients and their families. <BR/><BR/>The human reaction to death seems to me almost a primitive behavior. Primitive in the sense it is more instinctual than it is cerebral and cognitive.<BR/><BR/>I'm not so sure we can ever train ourselves to handle it in any other way then what we do now.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2526736757651414061.post-7415708661292446632008-12-11T21:04:00.000+00:002008-12-11T21:04:00.000+00:00My 3 sisters and I were with our mother when she d...My 3 sisters and I were with our mother when she died. We thought it was much better than when we heard from the nursing home that our father had died (Alzheimer's). My wife was with both of her parents when they died. AFAIK, none of us believes in an afterlife. We are here for a while, and then we're gone. The only "afterlife" is the memories held by our survivors. I hope I've lived in such a way that those memories are pleasant.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2526736757651414061.post-62514193014235921492008-12-11T20:38:00.000+00:002008-12-11T20:38:00.000+00:00@anon It would seem to me that one's belief in the...@anon It would seem to me that one's belief in the afterlife is a completely separate affair from how one reacts to the moment of death.Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14064409454774998776noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2526736757651414061.post-60516010010420491932008-12-11T20:16:00.000+00:002008-12-11T20:16:00.000+00:00Your reader may enjoy Sex, Death and YouTube: How ...Your reader may enjoy Sex, Death and YouTube: How Hypocrisy-Induce Hysteria Hurts Us All<BR/><BR/>http://www.comstockfilms.com/blog/tony/2008/12/04/youtube-not-mytube-how-hysteria-induced-hypocrisy-hurts-all-of-us/Tony Comstockhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06376376894244593929noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2526736757651414061.post-84180223754574801782008-12-11T20:12:00.000+00:002008-12-11T20:12:00.000+00:00Mark says: "t's hard to think the matter be will m...Mark says: "t's hard to think the matter be will made any more comprehensible by a prurient film."<BR/><BR/>I think this is only prurient to the lurid. To those with sick or elderly relatives, such a film is a public service.unclesmedleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00579606329359840973noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2526736757651414061.post-44829414462939622992008-12-10T21:10:00.000+00:002008-12-10T21:10:00.000+00:00I have seen it happen. My first spouse died in a h...I have seen it happen. My first spouse died in a hospital. My stepdaughter Jennifer and I were there holding her hand (she was not conscious). She and I had separated by that time, but I felt it was my place to be there. And I'm glad I was.Frank Wilsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18410473158808750903noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2526736757651414061.post-56458358365036369922008-12-10T20:42:00.000+00:002008-12-10T20:42:00.000+00:00Why? Loss of belief in an afterlife.Why? Loss of belief in an afterlife.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2526736757651414061.post-87528166595496840682008-12-10T18:59:00.000+00:002008-12-10T18:59:00.000+00:00Having been present at the scene of a number of su...Having been present at the scene of a number of sudden deaths I can say with some conviction that unlike the end of an illness, the slow sinking beneath the waves, a violent end is an extremely thought provoking experience. One minute they are there, full of life, full of activity, the next minute, thwack, gone. Thoughts race through the mind, that could easily have been me, don't be silly, you're more thorough, been around longer, know your limits, still here, but there again... The first time I thought the bodies were like rag dolls, every bone broken, were they really once whole?<BR/>The more I saw, the more immune I became, in the end simply working out the logistics of removal and to be honest, another good climb f..ked up by some idiot who couldn't judge their own ability, but hang on, what about the parents, the anguish.<BR/>Gives a completely different viewpoint on life, mountaineering, up there is reality, down here isn't.<BR/>Can't understand why death is a taboo subject, we can't avoid it, can we ?maltyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02936465848907794425noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2526736757651414061.post-68204579013239678392008-12-10T14:47:00.000+00:002008-12-10T14:47:00.000+00:00In America, death has taken a holiday. Few people ...In America, death has taken a holiday. Few people have actually *seen* it happen. It's hidden in hospitals and dressed up in funeral homes. No wonder we all fear it: we hardly know it.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2526736757651414061.post-177701378452167602008-12-10T12:03:00.001+00:002008-12-10T12:03:00.001+00:00This comment has been removed by the author.Markhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06074816573442173758noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2526736757651414061.post-81964615006326982008-12-10T12:03:00.000+00:002008-12-10T12:03:00.000+00:00Is there a "moment of death"? In the case of sudde...Is there a "moment of death"? In the case of sudden trauma or organ failure, well OK. But anyone who's been at the bedside of a relative who gradually "drifts away" would question that. I'd also question how many people really want to keep the death of friends and family hidden away in a ward. The medical profession would like to, perhaps. And the State. Death has become a bureaucratic arrangement. We must resist them. In the meantime, it's hard to think the matter be will made any more comprehensible by a prurient film that sounds like one of those awful books about "understanding" the mind of a serial killer.Markhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06074816573442173758noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2526736757651414061.post-7996380079627709802008-12-10T11:52:00.000+00:002008-12-10T11:52:00.000+00:00Could it not be said, and probably has been, that ...Could it not be said, and probably has been, that birth is the beginning of death and, if this is accepted, we all witness the many layers of death unfolding and, if we choose to and happen to be around, we can be there when the motor stops?mahlermanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14469854614938507153noreply@blogger.com