More Estate Agents, Please

Here's another 'initiative', this one unveiled yesterday by that irrepressible little scallywag Weeble Blears. It all sounds very dreary and pointless. What our high streets really need are more estate agents - there just aren't enough of them these days. Not real estate agents of course, but pretend ones - they could be played by unemployed estate agents, it would be good therapy for them. These 'estate agents' could sit in their offices all day, wearing awful suits and ties, pretending to be doing important things on the phone, while their windows fill up with lots of pretend houses for sale at inflated prices. At a stroke, walking down the high street would be just like the old days, and confidence - that crucial factor - would rise no end, making us feel that happy days are here again, all's well with the world and it's high time we started spending money, taking out massive loans and returning the country to the boom years... Of course there's just the off chance it might not work. Any other ideas?