I'm having a Herbert Spencer of a time at NigeCorp just now, the resultant mind-scrambling leaving me liable to be tickled by stories like this. It's the tennis court and private beach with lifeguards that get me. Do fish play tennis? Do the lifeguards stop them jumping out of the water? I also spotted a story about a 'crisis' in the cutlery industry caused by the fact that nobody wants table knives any more (or, just possibly, that no one's inclined to buy a canteen of cutlery in a recession). It seems we're eschewing knives and eating with fork and/or spoon - all we need to handle the predigested pap most of us are eating as we stare glumly at the telly. Will the fork ultimately triumph over the doughty knife? It wasn't so long ago that the lower orders of French society would never used anything for eating purposes but a sturdy clasp knife. Eh bien...
I would no doubt have said something about 'Unleashing Apsiration' (as I think it was called - I can't be bothered to check), the government's latest attempt to blame the professions and 'elite institutions' for the failures of the school system - but frankly why bother? The endless stream of 'ideas' and 'intitiatives' and whatnot issuing from this moribund government is really beneath notice, despite leaping reliably to the top of the 'news' agenda day after day.
One item on last night's BBC News did grab me though - as I'm sure it did anyone else who saw it - an interview with the nurse who was locked in her car boot for 10 days. As soon as she opened her mouth, it was evident that this was a truly remarkable woman, and a Christian of the best kind, sustained by her faith and even finding it in her to forgive the man who all but killed her, to pity and pray for him. Few of us can achieve it (and many don't even wish to), but to see faith embodied like this is a very wonderful and moving thing.
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I think I can say, with some authority, that fish do not play tennis.
ReplyDeleteThere was that goalkeeper one in Viz...
ReplyDeleteBilly.
ReplyDeleteAnd there was John Mackerelroe.
ReplyDeleteFish play tennis. Haven't you seen them chucking bubbles at one another?
ReplyDeleteBut ..."lower orders"! When I was in France the family next door had some lovingly tended and beautifully made clasp knives which they liked to use for special occasions and for steak. The steak was cooked in one piece on a toasting fork over the fire, old-stylee. And it was very good. But then one doesn't need any cutlery at all to enjoy one of the Colonel's buckets. Just yer mouth. I'm expecting a crisis in the napkin industry as it becomes clear that folks use the back of their hand these days. A crisis in the handkerchief industry is too horrible to contemplate.
Looks massive. The fish will be pissed when their owners return them to their TV sized tanks.
ReplyDeleteRe: the fish hotel - when it's time to collect your beloved pet goldfish, how on earth will they tell which is the right one? Or doesn't it matter much?
ReplyDelete