Sunday 13 June 2010

How to Dress for the Country

Strolling on Blakeney marshes, I couldn't help but notice that everyone I passed was kitted out for Walking, as it is conceived in these car-bound times - not walking as in the most basic natural activity known to creatures afflicted with bipedalism, but Walking as a specialist activity requiring specialist kit. This usually consists of unbecoming forms of anorak or windcheater in garish colours, with boots made of various fusions of synthetics, and ugly trousering - sometimes even (God help us) shorts - with pockets in unlikely places. Worse, more and more people now seem to feel they're not Walking unless they're powering themselves along with a couple of metal poles. Dear o dear... The effect one aims for when out walking is ideally that of a flaneur taking a stroll down Piccadilly before dropping in at the club. Only minimal concessions need be made to the rural circumstances (spats perhaps if the going's soft). A raincoat or tweed overcoat of conventional cut is adequate to most weather conditions - or, if preferred, the Norfolk jacket, as pictured here, with a fetching trilby, worsted gabardine trousers and a decent pair of Oxfords. That, gentlemen, is how to dress for the country.

12 comments:

  1. Agree. You come across people in the Cotswolds who look as if they've prepared themselves to clamber across the Hindu Kush. I overtake them sometimes on the way to the pub.

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  2. Rumour abounds that Tiso's are launching a cravat capable of withstanding K2s Abruzzi ridge and weighing only four grammes. Melrose car park is frequently full of walkers donning schmutter for the attack on the Col des Eildon, height nine hundred feet, with better equipment than we use in alpine winter conditions.
    The Gore Tex day-glo snake on Helvellyn's striding edge can be seen from space.
    One of Italy's greatest climbers, Eduardo Gervasutti, would traverse from Courmayer to Chamonix wearing plus fours and stout brogues, he was once reprimanded by a group of English amateur climbers for being inappropriately dressed. Being a gentleman he smiled and walked on.

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  3. Nige, did you pose for that drawing? It's SO like you!

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  4. Maybe the Polist Tendency is about the need to feel you are carrying spears in case of assault outside Tesco by woolly mammoths.

    Interesting stuff. I was in a "camping" shop (dread words!) a few days ago. I asked the assistant how many of their £150-200 synthetic boots could be repaired and resoled come the time. The answer was hardly any, just one brand, I think. In fact the question was taken to be a little odd. The idea seems to be that you spend hundreds of pounds on this equipment, then shortly afterwards throw it all way. Yes, it's pretty crazy out there.

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  5. The twin ski poles are obviously absurd, but what's your view on a good stout manly staff?

    My father has a good collection; few things seem to give him greater pleasure than buying wooden sticks, or foraging for feral ones and polishing them up to standard.

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  6. My choice. Top quality wellies (very muddy on the woods in Somerset) where I walk the hounds. Zip on sides to readjust socks, and neoprene lining.

    XXL Drizabone (am 6'6" tall)

    Drover's hat.

    That's the deal. Exquisite fashion sense allied totally effective weatherproofing. The best a man can get.

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  7. Sigh. Regarding your lovely bird picture previous, as an environmental writer I find that I now automatically avert my eyes from any "bird" picture in the news, for fear of seeing one afflicted by the BP oil crime.

    Good luck to all water birds!

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  8. This is always necessary to dress according the place you are and for your country.Great idea of blog.

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  9. Ideally, a man needs stout comfortable boots or shoes and nondescript clothing - the former for running and kicking, the latter so as to leave little trace in the minds of witnesses. He should also carry some kind of cudgel or shillelagh to thrash ne'er-do-wells and no-good-boyos and indeed anyone who has it coming.

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  11. Kate's right. It's that slight flexion of the right knee. A dead give away.

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