Friday 10 September 2010

Where There's a Will...

I'm developing one of my irrational loathings again - and, having asked around, I don't think I'm alone in this one. It's that Will Gompertz, the BBC's Arts Editor, i.e. spouter-in-chief of modish banalities about The Yarts (as Sir Les Paterson eloquently calls them). With his bald dome fringed by long hair (not a good look) and combination of very open-necked shirt, formal jacket and tight jeans (an even worse look on a middle-aged man), his appearance is so strikingly unpleasant as to distract the viewer from what he's saying - which might very well be a mercy but is hardly an advantage for a man in his job. He also likes to stride around self-consciously and chop the air with mannered hand gestures - and he's now adopted a conspicuous glottal stop. And who is Will Gompertz (apart from a former director of Tate Media, whatever that is)? He is, Wikipedia informs us, the third cousin of Simon Gompertz, a reporter on BBC2's Working Lunch. That is quite possibly the most obscure fact I have ever learnt about any living person. Hands up those who know who their third cousins are? Hands up those who even know what a third cousin is? Hands up those who would happily get through the rest of their lives without another report on The Yarts by Will 'Third Cousin of Simon' Gompertz...

8 comments:

  1. My hand is up. In fact, now I check, both my hands are up. My legs too. He looks like a very bald A.A. Gill. Now there's a thought...

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  2. I suspect you haven't come across Channel 4 News' new arts correspondent yet. Rest assured, when you do your loathing of Gompy will be quickly forgotten. Here he is (the report is embedded in the page):

    http://www.channel4.com/news/articles/uk/government+opens+up+its+art+collection/3763687

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  3. O dear God - why are The Yarts populated by so many complete arses?

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  4. I seem to remember that when glottal stop was explained to me it was suggested that I should, momentarily,stop the airflow in my throat. Perhaps this blight could continue for a little longer?

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  5. He has a look of Bill Nighy in that pic. Susan Balee would like him.

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  6. Hmmn, Brit, I think the difference is that if you put a life-size cut-out of Bill Nighy on a trolley and wheeled it round an old folks' home the residents would probably ask to stroke it. I'd guess that something less agreeable might happen if you tried the same with a TV arts editor.

    Maybe what this shows is that Sir Les's beloved yarts have become offshoots of the advertising and marketing industries. It's the erm practitioners of these strange crafts who now do what commentators and critics might have done in previous generations.

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  7. I know nothing of this person but the photo is sufficient to make me agree with you, Nige!

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  8. It would seem that the excellent Bryan Appleyard is not impressed by Mr Gompertz's recent book:

    http://www.bryanappleyard.com/gompertzs-art-isms-and-wasms/

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