Wednesday, 18 July 2012

Inactivity: The Way Forward

So now we know - there's a 'pandemic of inactivity' sweeping the globe, and it's 'as deadly as smoking'. Well, quite. Clearly Something Will Have to Be Done about it. Here's how we could make a start...
  Inactivity must be banned in all enclosed public spaces. All cinemas, theatres, churches, meeting halls and workplaces must replace all seating with individual treadmills to stamp out inactivity. Basic seating can be provided in exposed outdoor spots for those unable to curb their craving for inactivity.
  Meanwhile, all advertising for armchairs and three-piece suites should be banned, and all armchairs sold should carry a prominent warning, 'Sitting Kills', in the form of a fixed antimacassar.
  These are just a couple of ideas by way of making a start - clearly much more will have to be done to end, once and for all, the deadly scourge of inactivity, thereby enabling millions more people to live long enough to find themselves obliged to sell their house to fund many more years of sitting around in a care home... Wait a minute - isn't that inactivity? Something Will Have to Be Done...


  1. "Nothing Happens and They Report It" - to borrow a headline I saw. Perhaps we should all protest by taking a mass siesta outside the Houses of Parliament. Things might move along a little if all seating, carpets and heating were removed from the House of Commons, however. I was told when young that fitted carpets and central heating have a lot to answer for.

  2. I'm sure you're right Mark - and house insulation, draught-proofing etc. Nothing like a cold draughty house to keep you on your toes.

  3. So sorry to have commented.

  4. An artist of 30 years, I spent 4 them at my new MAC computer -- standing up. Does that count for anything? And wrote a 450-page book (The Pocket Lint Chronicles) during that time. Plus, I had very bad hives for 7 months of that. No connection, I'm sure.

    But surely I can sit down now.

    My chiro says a properly supporting chair is better than standing up, esp. if you don't have one foot up on a stair-height ledge.

    Must run, off to play ping-pong with my husband. Standing up!!

  5. Wouldn't you think that, as the sports thingybob is, as we sloth, consuming vast amounts of the BBC's resources they would shelve, temporarily at least their wacky theory department and it's legions of lost souls. It is glaringly obvious that most of the population are getting adequate amounts of exercise as they mill around manically texting. Sports psychologists please note.

  6. They should ban sitting and standing still in enclosed public places. For instance, if you wanted to stay motionless whilst having a drink in a pub, you'd have to step outside.

  7. "Those currently navigating the rocky shoals of middle age and looking forward to a few quiet years in a comfortable chair with a good book may tremble at the thought of a seniority in which they will be compelled to grow orchids or learn to play the trombone"

    ---Robertson Davies

  8. Funny that a little blog post on inactivity should stir up so much response.

    1. Well, Tricia, you didn't think we sitters were going to take this nonsense lying down, did you?