Different Class

A 'major new study' has made a laudable attempt to revive something of the lost richness of the English class system. Once among the glories of our national life, this endlessly complex and subtle system (or rather organism) gave us all our best comedies and most of our best fiction, while also proving a remarkably effective engine - and index - of social mobility, both upward and downward. ('Was he born,' inquires Lady Bracknell of Jack Worthing's father, 'into what the radical papers call the purple of commerce, or did he rise through the ranks of the aristocracy?'). It also gave us something other than the weather to talk - and even think - about.
In recent times, the 'system' has been grossly oversimplified into Upper, Lower and Middle - though in fact the only class distinctions that retain much vitality are those between the various levels of the middle class (the upper and lower classes - both hedonistically inclined, fond of animals, booze and fags - are distinguishable only by their outward trappings). The new 'major study' adds four more classifications, but alas they're no fun at all - and, what's more, they don't work. Or at least the related Class Calculator doesn't. I answered the questions honestly and was told that I belonged to the Technical Middle Class, that I work in research, science and technical fields, and enjoy going to the gym and using social media, e.g. FaceBook and Twitter. Not one word of which is true. Try it yourself and see how you get on...