Friday, 6 January 2017

'I could feel the charger about my person...'

A chap can't have too many pockets, I say - at least in his jacket. I'm always pleasantly surprised when I find a jacket that can comfortably accommodate my essentials in appropriately shaped and placed pockets  - my essentials being bank cards and such, codgercards (Freedom Pass, senior rail card etc), Victorinox Swiss Card classic (incorporating scissors, pen knife, nail file/screwdriver, tweezers, toothpick, emergency pen and 3" ruler), diary, notebook, smartphone and dumbphone, pen and reading glasses. That's a lot to carry, so clearly I need plenty of pocket space. However, having read this amusing piece on the BBC News website, I appreciate that it is indeed possible to have Too Many Pockets.
  Reporting from Las Vegas, Zoe Kleinman presents... the 42-pocket jacket! Actually it's not a jacket - it's that terrible thing, a gilet - and that's where the problems start. 'If style isn't necessarily your number one priority,' says a spokesman, setting more alarm bells ringing, 'you could fit everything you ever need in there.' But - and here's another rub - 'the firm does not recommend using all 42 pockets at once'. To judge by Kleinman's account of trying to do just that, the warning is well placed. Having nearly been pulled over backwards by the weight of her laptop in a back (literally) pocket, she managed to adapt and lumber about heavily for a while, but when it came to getting everything out of those pockets, it was far from plain sailing: 'I could feel the charger about my person but it took me a while to locate the pocket it was in.' Happily, each garment contains a little map to help you to find your way round the pockets.
 That, clearly, is a case of too many pockets - far too many. However, the rival product mentioned, with a mere 25 pockets, looks more promising - and it's actually a jacket, not a gilet...
 'I can't believe I've come to Las Vegas to write about pockets,' Kleinman concludes. Well, all I can say is I'm glad someone is.


  1. If you're not over-sensitive as to how much machismo you project a manbag is the answer. It leaves your high quality tailored clothing undistorted and gathers everything necessary in one easy location.

  2. A Ma-a-a-anbag?! As Lady Bracknell almost said.

  3. Ha ha. For metrosexuals everywhere.