Wednesday, 4 March 2009
Starbucks: Instant Karma?
Fast losing the plot, Starbucks, the bucket-of-froth franchise, has launched its own instant coffee on an unimpressed public. 'Weak', eh? 'Watery', eh? Whoever would have guessed? Starbucks' talk of having 'cracked the code' and come up with the freshest-tasting instant coffee ever seems to have had an element of wishful thinking about it. As the guy says in the piece, 'It's more the scene than the coffee.' Which is precisely why I never willingly set foot in a Starbucks.
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I would rather be chained to the railings of a rusting oilrig in a force 10 gale and used as a screaming human jizz-jar by hundreds of Aids infected vikings than ever go into a Starbucks. But each to their own I suppose
ReplyDeleteAs a kid I went to London a few times. As an adult I go up quite a lot, every few months maybe.
ReplyDeleteSomewhere in between the kid visits and adulthood the whole of London got filled to bursting with Starbucks, Costa, Cafe Nero etc etc.
So my question is: what did they replace?
Will - I take it you're not keen on Starbucks then. Good man.
ReplyDeleteBrit - this is one of the great puzzles of urban life. As soon as one of these blighters opens up, it seems to eradicate all memory of what went before...
- the shop where Mr Benn went to have his adventures, emily's little shop, Grace Brothers Department Store, Cyberdyne Systems and the east india trading company are all coffee shops now, some of them even have wi-fi.
ReplyDeleteHeh heh, nice one, Will.
ReplyDeleteAlso The Old Curiosity Shop, Mr Magoriom's Wonder Emporium, the sweet shop where William Brown got his bullseyes and Mr Venus's taxidermy establishment. All closed down thanks to Starbucks, the bastards.
Come along everyone, where would Borders books be without Starbucks, bust, that's where and if both went down wouldn't the charity shops be full of moth eaten sofas, flooding the market and forcing the closure of DFS.
ReplyDeleteEutopia may be just around the corner.
Don't tell that bloke Cohen, his new book was in the 3 for 2 stand in Borders last week.
Or possibly utopia.
ReplyDeleteOr even a world without Borders, Starbucks, DFS, I would add IKEA but they are about to become the centrepiece of Brits life.
ReplyDeleteI wonder if there is any such thing as good instant coffee? It's not called Nasty Nes' for nothing. After all, if you make proper coffee you "just add water". In this town, Blackwells bookshop has Cafe Nero, Waterstones has Costa and Borders has Starbucks. Blackwells wins by miles. Tea, now there is a real drink ...
ReplyDeleteOne of the few pleasures of my otherwise intolerable and remorseless life is encouraging Starbuck's staff to tell me how much they hate Starbucks. It's surprisingly easy, usually just a wry look and a "busy today" is enough to set them off.
ReplyDeleteGo to Ely. Go to Topping's bookshop. Go upstairs. A nice man will ask whether you'd like tea or coffee. Say "coffee". A cafetiere appears - no sweeteners, so you have to take sugar. A milk jug - seems rude not to take a little milk. Golly, that's not bad coffee. Oops, the many cups of coffee have been free but I appear to have bought sixty quids' worth of books. That was all very nice, I must go back next month. Not least because additionally the chipper on the Market Square sold me the best F & C for lunch that I've had in donkey's. Nice cathedral too.
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ReplyDeleteMy dear Dearieyou, How lovely, the place sounds chipper. In a similar vein I can heartily recommend to all, this place: http://www.mrbsemporium.com/
ReplyDeleteIt's in Bath and non the worse for that - o.k. Bath's a bit pompous but you can't have everything can you - well, where would you put it?
Sorry - got miself in a tizz then!
On the subject of coffee: I tend to regard 'proper coffee' and instant coffee as two completely separate and legitimate beverages (beverages, Ha ha) Anyway, there are times when I just want an instant......coffee that is!
What's an "F & C"? Still can't figure out some o' the Britishisms.
ReplyDeletei hate Starbucks coffee, but I love their convenient locations. Every MWF between 4:30 and 5:30 p.m. finds me in the one on the campus where I teach. I'm sitting there grading papers or prepping something for my evening class while I sip some of their black tea or -- if I'm feeling partic. epuisee -- their chai.
And they do bring people into bookstores, I think. Those places are always hopping. What they've replaced are...coffee shops, diners, luncheonettes. Places that used to serve coffee and other stuff but were all individual places, down-at-heel mostly. Starbucks' are all the same and spiffy.
F&C = fish and chips
ReplyDeleteOr, for Kiwis, Fush 'n' Chups.
ReplyDeleteDon't they just sell Camp coffee, but manage to charge five times the price?
ReplyDeleteStill, just as disgusting though and about as close to the real Italian thing as the weird strips they serve up as bacon in Saudi.
Dearieme, talking of chups, have you seen this little vid? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZdVHZwI8pcA
ReplyDeleteMy daughter sent it to me from NZ, says it's weirdly true to the Kiwi character...
Starbucks' instant coffee gets a review in the Wall Street Journal.
ReplyDeleteNZ = Land of the long lost vowels.
ReplyDelete