Friday, 1 May 2009

Seasonal Advice

Right, this is serious - the Met Office has assured us we're in for a hot, dry 'barbecue summer'. I therefore advise stocking up on the following: umbrellas, goloshes, waterproof capes and mackintoshes, rubber waders, sandbags, mops, Mae Wests, inflatable dinghies, Very pistols, distress flares, luminous marker buoys... Have I missed anything?
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6 comments:

  1. dearieme1 May 2009 at 11:19

    Sou'westers.

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  2. Nige1 May 2009 at 11:41

    Correct, Dearieme. A dove might come in handy too...

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  3. malty1 May 2009 at 12:04

    The ark.

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  4. mahlerman1 May 2009 at 12:49

    Tinned fish, meat and fruit - and sausages in tins too, in case the Met are on the money for once.
    And I would be tempted to buy everything except the ark in bulk, for cash, as most of this stuff will be seen as 'end of season', and can probably be picked up for a song. Then we (?) can sell it on at a huge mark up to the poor sods who believe the guff that the Met Office push out. The clouds may be dark, but I smell an opportunity to beef (sorry) up my pension without getting my windows broken and my car vandalized

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  5. Mark1 May 2009 at 13:07

    Hmmn, safety matches (or is that lucifers?); an inflatable picnic basket with waterwings for the fine wines inside; and a waterproof cravat (waxed cotton, the reverse doubling as an emergency handkerchief).

    But I'm sure you'll have a warm and wonderful summer if you stay well away from Broon, who's bound to be accompanied by leaden skies and pouring rain wherever he goes.

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  6. Nige1 May 2009 at 13:11

    All eminently practical, esp the dual-purpose waterproof cravat. Actually I'm really hoping the Met is right just this once (on the stopped clock principle), because one more bad summer would be too much for many of our poor beleaguered butterflies.

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