Friday, 7 August 2009

What To Say?

Here's a burning question, plucked hot and smoking from the seething cauldron of contemporary urban life. What do you say when someone you're passing on the street beams at you and declares, with every sign of conviction: 'Jesus loves you!'? It's just happened to me again (it's a not infrequent occurrence - maybe I look especially lovable-by-Jesus). This time I managed to exclaim 'Oh good!' There must be better responses...
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15 comments:

  1. Gareth7 August 2009 at 10:56

    "and Broadmoor would love you."

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  2. Uncle Dick Madeley7 August 2009 at 11:12

    "So why does he never call?"

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  3. Uncle Dick Madeley7 August 2009 at 11:13

    Or: "I bet he says that to all the guys..."

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  4. dearieme7 August 2009 at 11:18

    "Says who?"

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  5. Mark7 August 2009 at 11:38

    You extract the large salmon that you happen to have in your pocket, press it into his hands and move on hurriedly. Some things are beyond language.

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  6. Uncle Dick Madeley7 August 2009 at 11:39

    After much thought, I think the correct response is to call him 'cheeky' and then chase him in the style of Dick Emery.

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  7. malty7 August 2009 at 12:03

    You must have one of those faces Nige, the sort that encourages people to open up and bare their souls to you. That's OK, beware the ones who bare other bits though, they are horses of an entirely different colour.
    Don't get carried away either, Jesus, apparently loves everyone, including the rotten bastard who gave me a speeding ticket recently.

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  8. Anonymous Apple7 August 2009 at 21:20

    You say "Yes - but he loves you MORE!"

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  9. Anonymous7 August 2009 at 21:24

    "I am Jesus."

    i attract religious lunatics, not sure why, possibly because i am one.

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  10. John Halliwell7 August 2009 at 21:41

    "That's a relief, I've just nicked the lead off the church roof"

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  11. Anonymous8 August 2009 at 07:20

    Maybe he's on to something and Jesus does love you....'for Christ plays in ten thousand places/Lovely in limbs, and lovely in eyes not his/To the Father through the features of men's faces'(Gerard Manley Hopkins)

    Be thankful he's not brandishing a weapon at you or inviting you to perform an anatomical impossibility on yourself.

    Honey Melody

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  12. Susan B.9 August 2009 at 14:15

    I think you say, "thank you," and smile.

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  13. Nige9 August 2009 at 17:26

    Susan, I think you're right - and I think that's pretty much what I meant.

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  14. Unknown9 August 2009 at 22:45

    Oh, but "I bet he says that to all the guys" is far more amusing... thanks Uncle Dick!

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  15. Dwight11 August 2009 at 16:26

    I let slip once in reply "Yeah, but not what I did last night." I've never had the courage to try that again, despite the wonderful response.

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