Humble Pie

The Worshipful Company of Headline Writers did well in that Westminster committee room yesterday, getting their man in place ready to fling the pie after Rupert Murdoch had professed himself 'humble'. The pie thrower, I can reveal, was not working alone. Also in the room were a trained parrot handler, poised to set his bird free to perch on Rupert's head should he profess himself 'sick' at what had gone on - and an expert marksman ready, on the trigger word 'shaken', to fling an apple core at the hapless press magnate. Another, simpler plan to set off a stink bomb was abandoned on the grounds that nobody nowadays has heard of Stinker Murdoch.