Election Fever

 A week to go till polling day, and here in the City of Philosophers election fever is burning red hot. As I stroll its pleasant streets, I've been keeping a mental tally of all the election stickers I've seen in people's windows. The total so far is... one (for Labour). I've never known a pre-election period like this, so imbued with hopelessness and apathy – and a kind of cool, steady anger. Truly this is the Abstract Election – and, by happy chance, it's coinciding with an abstract soccer championship over in Germany, where Our Lads are pioneering Abstract Football, a form of soccer so abstracted that it amounts to little more than sketches of possibilities, rather in the manner of Cy Twombly at his most hesitant. Unfortunately they are up against players of Real Football. 
As for the election, I'm going to make one prediction: there will be more spoiled papers than ever before in any general election. This will probably be the most significant statistic, though it's unlikely to attract much notice.