Tuesday, 29 July 2008
Panting, Lying
The frogs of Britain are in trouble, keeling over from a variety of mysterious ailments. The admirable organisation Frog Life has launched an appeal to the public to report to them any findings of dead frogs. Readers of the Pickwick Papers will inevitably at this point think of Mrs Leo Hunter and her affecting Ode To An Expiring Frog...
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Our frogs are suffering from an excess of Heron, frost, Owl and Countax, the red grim reaper. The Heron ate most of the frogspawn this year, a late frost did more damage, the areas of grass we deliberately leave long are usually teeming with young frogs, this year hardly any, plenty of toads though (they prefer late night suicide walkies on the gravel.)
ReplyDeleteCountax, Malty?
ReplyDeleteGrass cutting tractor, made in Oxfordshire by a bloke called Harry Handkammer. Grandchildren love them.
ReplyDeleteOkay, I have seen what I think must be a mutant frog. I was walking past a pond I know well the other day when I saw it: A huge creature with mighty thews -- probably a pound or more of frog -- and it STILL had a long tail, several inches long, like a rat.
ReplyDeleteWhat the hell? Aren't they supposed to lose those tails? Have you ever seen a frog like this or is a mutant caused by pesticides or who knows what?
Dear God - no idea what that could have been, Susan, but I'd advise evacuating the neighbourhood pronto.
ReplyDeleteSusan, I see those frogs when I don't drink Grappa. Go on, give it a quick peck. it may be a prince. We have princes over here who are moderately reptilian.
ReplyDeleteAND I've heard the native British red squirrel (Sciurus vulgaris) is now being literally eaten out of house and home by the bigger and more aggressive American grey squirrel (Sciurus Carolinensis) which, for some reason, was deliberately introduced in the 19th century.
ReplyDelete