Men In Tights

I hate to spring this on you without so much as a by your leave, but I heard it on the BBC World Service, so it must be true: 50 percent of German men wear tights. Yes that's one in two, every other German man. Pose the question 'Are you wearing tights?' on a German factory floor or in a German office, and not only will all the female hands go up (apart perhaps from a saucy minority), but every other male hand will also rise. What on earth are these men thinking of? And it's not just the Germans - sales of male tights are soaring in the UK too, and a quick Google of 'men's tights' is an eye-opening experience...
Gentlemen of a certain age still recall those dark days when, with shocking suddenness, stockings and suspenders gave way to the all-encasing synthetic horror of 'pantyhose' (ghastly word). But now, it seems, men are following the same route. Of course they attempt to link this aberrant behaviour to such manly outdoor pursuits as motorcycling - yeah sure, and of course you have to shave your legs so they go on smoothly...
No, I fear it's all part of the feminisation of the western male, as reflected in the surging market for male skincare products. This is not in itself a bad thing, but come on, we've got to draw the line somewhere. I draw it at tights.
Cravats? Yes! (I was out in mine again last night, looking one hell of a fellow). Tights? Nein danke!