'He then put a vibrator up his jumper...'

Here's a story I came across in my local paper. I pass it on because, for various reasons, it made me laugh, and because it seemed such a perfect vignette of (low) life in contemporary Britain...

'A thieving drug addict who stole a £49 sex toy while shopping with his pregnant girlfriend blamed the welfare state for his crime of passion.
  Lee Friend-Huggett, 33, appeared at Croydon Magistrates Court on Monday, charged with the theft of a vibrator from Ann Summers in the town centre.
  The prosecution said: "Mr Friend-Huggett went to Ann Summers with his girlfriend when he proceeded to the vibrator section of the store. He then put a vibrator up his jumper and left the shop with no intention to pay for it.
  He was arrested and told police he wasn't at Ann Summers at the time and was, instead, at a drug rehabilitation programme.
  He then insisted that it was not him that was in the shop, but his twin brother."
  Friend-Huggett, however, pleaded guilty on Monday...'

It's all there, isn't it? The welfare state connection, by the way, is that our friend the thieving drug addict explained that he stole the vibrator because he had not (he claimed) received his benefit money. Shame on us taxpayers for not coughing up punctually to support this fine fellow's lifestyle.