Sunday, 7 December 2025

Birthday

Today Tom Waits and I complete 76 years on this Earth. I've written a song for the occasion – it goes to the tune of 'Seventy-Six Trombones' –

Seventy-six years old, and I'm feeling fine,
Seventy-six years old, and I'm glad – 
And when I've lived eight more, I'll be all of eighty-four,
And the prospect doesn't seem half bad.
etc.

All yours, Tom. 

Others, especially those afflicted with a tender conscience, have taken their birthdays rather more seriously. Take the seventeenth-century nonconformist cleric Philip Henry (whose father had the delightful job title Keeper of the Orchard at Whitehall Palace)...

'He was born at White-hall, in Westminster, on Wednesday, August 24, 1631. being Bartholomew-day. I find usually in his Diary, some pious Remark or other upon the Annual Return of his Birth-day: As in one Year he notes, that the Scripture mentions but two who observed their Birth-day with Feasting and Joy, and they were neither of them Copies to be written after: viz. π‘ƒβ„Žπ‘Žπ‘Ÿπ‘Žπ‘œβ„Ž, Gen. 40.20. and π»π‘’π‘Ÿπ‘œπ‘‘, Mat. 14.6. 𝐡𝑒𝑑 (saith he) 𝐼 π‘Ÿπ‘Žπ‘‘β„Žπ‘’π‘Ÿ π‘œπ‘π‘ π‘’π‘Ÿπ‘£π‘’ 𝑖𝑑 π‘Žπ‘  π‘Ž π·π‘Žπ‘¦ π‘œπ‘“ π‘€π‘œπ‘’π‘Ÿπ‘›π‘–π‘›π‘” π‘Žπ‘›π‘‘ π»π‘’π‘šπ‘–π‘™π‘–π‘Žπ‘‘π‘–π‘œπ‘›, π‘π‘’π‘π‘Žπ‘’π‘ π‘’ π‘ β„Žπ‘Žπ‘π‘’π‘› 𝑖𝑛 πΌπ‘›π‘–π‘žπ‘’π‘–π‘‘π‘¦, π‘Žπ‘›π‘‘ π‘π‘œπ‘›π‘π‘’π‘–π‘£π‘’π‘‘ 𝑖𝑛 𝑆𝑖𝑛. And when he had completed the Thirtieth Year of his Age, he noted this, π‘†π‘œ π‘œπ‘™π‘‘, π‘Žπ‘›π‘‘ π‘›π‘œ π‘œπ‘™π‘‘π‘’π‘Ÿ, Alexander π‘€π‘Žπ‘ , π‘€β„Žπ‘’π‘› β„Žπ‘’ β„Žπ‘Žπ‘‘ π‘π‘œπ‘›π‘žπ‘’π‘’π‘Ÿπ‘’π‘‘ π‘‘β„Žπ‘’ π‘”π‘Ÿπ‘’π‘Žπ‘‘ π‘Šπ‘œπ‘Ÿπ‘™π‘‘, 𝑏𝑒𝑑 (saith he) 𝐼 β„Žπ‘Žπ‘£π‘’ π‘›π‘œπ‘‘ 𝑦𝑒𝑑 𝑠𝑒𝑏𝑑𝑒𝑒𝑑 π‘‘β„Žπ‘’ 𝑙𝑖𝑑𝑑𝑙𝑒 π‘Šπ‘œπ‘Ÿπ‘™π‘‘, π‘šπ‘¦ 𝑠𝑒𝑙𝑓. At his Thirty third Year he hath this Humble Reflection; 𝐴 π‘™π‘œπ‘›π‘” π‘‘π‘–π‘šπ‘’ 𝑙𝑖𝑣𝑒𝑑 π‘‘π‘œ π‘ π‘šπ‘Žπ‘™π‘™ π‘π‘’π‘Ÿπ‘π‘œπ‘ π‘’, π‘Šβ„Žπ‘Žπ‘‘ π‘ β„Žπ‘Žπ‘™π‘™ 𝐼 π‘‘π‘œ π‘‘π‘œ π‘Ÿπ‘’π‘‘π‘’π‘’π‘š 𝑖𝑑? And at another, 𝐼 π‘šπ‘Žπ‘¦ π‘€π‘œπ‘’π‘Ÿπ‘› π‘Žπ‘  πΆπ‘Žπ‘’π‘ π‘Žπ‘Ÿ 𝑑𝑖𝑑 π‘€β„Žπ‘’π‘› β„Žπ‘’ π‘Ÿπ‘’π‘“π‘™π‘’π‘π‘‘π‘’π‘‘ π‘’π‘π‘œπ‘› 𝐴𝑙𝑒π‘₯π‘Žπ‘›π‘‘π‘’π‘Ÿ'𝑠 π‘’π‘Žπ‘Ÿπ‘™π‘¦ π΄π‘β„Žπ‘–π‘’π‘£π‘’π‘šπ‘’π‘›π‘‘π‘ , π‘‘β„Žπ‘Žπ‘‘ π‘œπ‘‘β„Žπ‘’π‘Ÿπ‘ , π‘¦π‘œπ‘’π‘›π‘”π‘’π‘Ÿ π‘‘β„Žπ‘Žπ‘› 𝐼 π‘Žπ‘š, β„Žπ‘Žπ‘£π‘’ π‘‘π‘œπ‘›π‘’ π‘šπ‘’π‘β„Ž π‘šπ‘œπ‘Ÿπ‘’ π‘‘β„Žπ‘Žπ‘› 𝐼 β„Žπ‘Žπ‘£π‘’ π‘‘π‘œπ‘›π‘’ π‘“π‘œπ‘Ÿ πΊπ‘œπ‘‘, π‘‘β„Žπ‘’ πΊπ‘œπ‘‘ π‘œπ‘“ π‘šπ‘¦ 𝐿𝑖𝑓𝑒. And (to mention no more) when he had lived Forty two Years, he thus writes; 𝐼 π‘€π‘œπ‘’π‘™π‘‘ 𝑏𝑒 π‘™π‘œπ‘Žπ‘‘β„Ž π‘‘π‘œ 𝑙𝑖𝑣𝑒 𝑖𝑑 π‘œπ‘£π‘’π‘Ÿ π‘Žπ‘”π‘Žπ‘–π‘›, 𝑙𝑒𝑠𝑑 π‘–π‘›π‘ π‘‘π‘’π‘Žπ‘‘ π‘œπ‘“ π‘šπ‘Žπ‘˜π‘–π‘›π‘” 𝑖𝑑 π‘π‘’π‘‘π‘‘π‘’π‘Ÿ 𝐼 π‘ β„Žπ‘œπ‘’π‘™π‘‘ π‘šπ‘Žπ‘˜π‘’ 𝑖𝑑 π‘€π‘œπ‘Ÿπ‘ π‘’, π‘Žπ‘›π‘‘ 𝑏𝑒𝑠𝑖𝑑𝑒𝑠, π‘’π‘£π‘’π‘Ÿπ‘¦ π‘Œπ‘’π‘Žπ‘Ÿ π‘Žπ‘›π‘‘ π·π‘Žπ‘¦ 𝑠𝑝𝑒𝑛𝑑 π‘œπ‘› πΈπ‘Žπ‘Ÿπ‘‘β„Ž 𝑖𝑠 𝑙𝑒𝑠𝑠 𝑖𝑛 π»π‘’π‘Žπ‘£π‘’π‘›. This last Note minds me of a Passage I have heard him tell of a Friend of his, who being grown into Years, was asked how old he was, and answer'd, 𝑂𝑛 π‘‘β„Žπ‘’ π‘€π‘Ÿπ‘œπ‘›π‘” 𝑠𝑖𝑑𝑒 π‘œπ‘“ 𝐹𝑖𝑓𝑑𝑦: Which (said Mr. Henry) he should not have said; for if he was going to Heaven, it was the π‘Ÿπ‘–π‘”β„Žπ‘‘ side of Fifty.'
— 𝐌𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐑𝐞𝐰 π‡πžπ§π«π², 𝐴𝑛 π΄π‘π‘π‘œπ‘’π‘›π‘‘ π‘œπ‘“ π‘‘β„Žπ‘’ 𝐿𝑖𝑓𝑒 π‘Žπ‘›π‘‘ π·π‘’π‘Žπ‘‘β„Ž π‘œπ‘“ π‘€π‘Ÿ. π‘ƒβ„Žπ‘–π‘™π‘–π‘ π»π‘’π‘›π‘Ÿπ‘¦, π‘€π‘–π‘›π‘–π‘ π‘‘π‘’π‘Ÿ π‘œπ‘“ π‘‘β„Žπ‘’ πΊπ‘œπ‘ π‘π‘’π‘™ π‘π‘’π‘Žπ‘Ÿ π‘Šβ„Žπ‘–π‘‘π‘’π‘β„Žπ‘’π‘Ÿπ‘β„Ž 𝑖𝑛 π‘†β„Žπ‘Ÿπ‘œπ‘π‘ β„Žπ‘–π‘Ÿπ‘’, π‘Šβ„Žπ‘œ 𝐷𝑦'𝑑 𝐽𝑒𝑛𝑒 24, 1696, 𝑖𝑛 π‘‘β„Žπ‘’ 𝑆𝑖π‘₯𝑑𝑦 πΉπ‘–π‘“π‘‘β„Ž π‘Œπ‘’π‘Žπ‘Ÿ π‘œπ‘“ 𝐻𝑖𝑠 𝐴𝑔𝑒 (1698). 

Well, there'll be none of that chez Nige...
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