Tuesday 22 June 2010

Osborne: A Whiter Shade of Pale

Never mind the Budget - the question on my mind is this: How does Osborne, even in the height of summer, maintain that unearthly pallor? There is nothing like it in our national life - it's the pallor of an ancien regime fop, a tint unseen since powder and patch fell out of vogue. Is Osborne, whenever he ventures outdoors, accompanied by a flunky with a protective parasol? I think someone would have noticed. Does he spend his down time lurking in dank cellars where daylight never penetrates? Does he (heaven forbid) resort to some form of Panstick? In among tomorrow's endless Budget analysis, I expect to see Osborne: My Top Tips for Staying Pale when the Going Gets Hot.

3 comments:

  1. Like me, he clearly finds it easy to avoid the sun. The problem is that it's much harder to avoid people mentioning the fact that we've been avoiding the sun.

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  2. I wonder if it's embalming fluid? Or, if this really is ancien regime, perhaps absinthe. My understanding is that Tory scandals usually involve sex. Perhaps Osborne will break that tradition and become the first Tory minister to be involved in a scandal with a mortuary.

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  3. He looks a curiously cucumber cool chap, but might his niggling cough be an indication of consumption - in which case I hope he's taking the necessary measures to curtail this irritating habit..

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