Monday 4 October 2010
Things You Don't Often See...
The other day I found myself sitting on a train with, in front of me across the aisle, a delightful and very happy toddler being entertained by - and entertaining - her mother. Behind me was another delightful and very happy toddler being entertained by - and entertaining - her parents and older sister. There should be nothing remarkable in this, but sadly there is (which made it all the more cheering to see). Far more often when there's a toddler on a train, the child is being entirely ignored until, in a desperate bid for parental attention, s/he does something disruptive - at which point the parent shouts at the child and forces him/her to sit down and stay still and silent, on pain of punishment. The parent then resumes the far more important business of reading a magazine or doing something ferocious on a mobile phone. What is it with us Brits (not you, Brit!) and children? Compared to most other countries, we just don't seem to get it - to grasp that, despite the difficulties and demands of parenting, children are essentially a joy and a consolation. Too many of us seem determined to deny ourselves that joy and consolation, to make parenthood part of our unhapppiness, another burden to be borne. And this is not a class thing - it's perfectly commonplace for 'professionals' to regard children as a problem to be solved, to be somehow fitted in around the important business of life, i.e. Work (a word that never seems to be applied to the very much harder and more useful business of raising a child) and professional advancement, not people to be valued and enjoyed for themselves. Ah well, we in this country have always been notorious for not much liking children, and it seems this aspect of the national character is proving stubbornly resilient.
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Interesting. Don't most curmudgeonly conservatives take the view that we all indulge our kids too much these days, that (middle class) men are all emasculated pram-pushers and that it would be a Good Thing if we returned to the days when children were Seen and Not Heard, and were only introduced to their fathers, with a handshake, at the age of 12?
ReplyDeleteSometimes I wonder if I'm really a curmudgeounly conservative at all. Darn!
ReplyDelete[We] just don't seem to get it - to grasp that, despite the difficulties and demands of parenting, children are essentially a joy and a consolation.
ReplyDeleteI didn't get it, at first.
My wife set me straight.
Reward good behavior, you get more good behavior.
Reward bad behavior ...
Do bear in mind Nige that you were blessed with particularly fantastic children!
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