Wednesday, 28 August 2013

How Middle-Aged Are You?

Thanks to what is I'm sure a most illuminating survey, we now know that middle age begins around 53, rather than the more traditional 41. This report helpfully lists 20 Tell-Tale Signs that you're middle-aged. Although I'm a decade into middle age as now defined, I scored a paltry 8 (partly composed of half marks). There are many things listed that I would never dream of doing - tea in a flask? Dressing for comfort? Booking a cruise? Falling asleep after one glass? On the other hand, several indicators have applied to me from an early age - listening to The Archers (and watching Antiques Road Show), being entirely baffled by technology, hating noisy pubs... But then I always rather fancied the idea of middle age and looked forward to it as a period of life when I would come into my own. I knew I was making a hash of my younger years, and that youth, with its endless possibilities for self-absorption and self-destruction, wasn't the ideal environment for me. Roll on my 40s, I used (at some level) to think - little knowing that it would soon cease to be 'middle age'. I enjoyed my 40s, I enjoyed my 50s, so far I've enjoyed my 60s. I'd be hard put to say I enjoyed my youth.
Another illuminating, and I'm sure authoritative, survey recently 'found' that the 60s are the happiest decade of our lives. That may well be true - at least if you have your health (which I, thank G--, have). Now, where did I put those Werther Originals...?


  1. I heard about this on radio 4 today and thought "Crumbs, I've been middle aged since about 27 thanks to listening to The Archers". Thankfully, the other signs are mostly still absent. Flasks of tea, indeed!

  2. Being about as far into middle age as you, Nige, I resolved some time ago to battle against these markers. For example, when I began forgetting the names of associates, I simply pretended they were enemies I wanted nothing to do with. When family began teasing me for nodding off after one drink, I immediately increased the pace of my drinking.

  3. Hmm...I read recently that Joan Collins, well into middle age at 80, had been lured into the van of her now fifth husband Percy Gibson(47)by a trail of Werthers. Now that is original.

  4. A meagre six for me... Good to know that middle age is still a comfortable 19 years off, I thought I was nearly there already!


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