Tuesday 28 March 2023

Genius in Action

 I was rather startled to come across this image today – yes, a Ludwig van Beethoven action figure, complete with stool. The poor man appears to be wearing an industrial-strength hernia truss, and, understandably in the circumstances, he doesn't seem to promise much more in the way of 'action' than sitting down on the stool. The box bears the stirring quotation: 'What I have in my heart must come out; that is the reason why I compose.' 
  Well, I guess if any composer was going to get his own action figure, it would have to be Beethoven, the most 'iconic' of them all. But are there any others? Trawling eBay, I found a Bach ('The aim and final end of all music should be none other than the glory of God and the refreshment of the soul') and a Mozart ('Silence is very important. The silence between the notes are [sic] as important as the notes themselves'), both of slightly higher quality – if you can imagine such a thing – and both fetching higher prices than poor old Ludwig Van. 
  As for action figures of artists, I could only find one – inevitably, Vincent van Gogh ('I dream my painting, and then I paint my dream'). Here the manufacturers have really gone to town, providing two removable heads(!), paintbrush, 'pallet' [sic], easel, frame and four paintings. Alas, no one seems to have made a Jackson Pollock action figure... 


4 comments:

  1. These were produced as toys, I take it. I'd have thought some celebrity "artist" could have designed them and sold them for $500,000 each.

    DN

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    1. Good thinking, Wurmbrand – I'm surprised Jeff Koons and Damien Hirst aren't onto this...

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  2. Years ago, when Reiter's Technical Books was still on K St. NW in Washington, a board by the checkout held dozens of finger puppets of the famous. I picked up one of Hegel to give to a friend. I find that it was from The Unemployed Philosophers Guild: https://philosophersguild.com/products/g-w-f-hegel-finger-puppet .

    One might regard the product list as an argument for full employment for philosophers.

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    1. Oh dear God! Some truly astonishing 'likenesses' there (e.g. Jesus Christ, to name but one) – Orwell looks like Hitler, James Joyce like one of the Thompson twins, Alan Turing like... what?! You're right George – get those philosophers back to work.

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