Virtue, Vice and Brown's Almost Imperceptible Arches

'Virtue is more to be feared than Vice,' wrote Adam Smith (born on this day in 1723), 'because its excesses are not subject to the regulations of Conscience.' This certainly appears to be the case with Gordon Brown's Virtue - his famous 'moral compass' - which is clearly unregulated by anything most of us would recognise as Conscience. The most startling (though really, I suppose, it shouldn't have been) thing I heard in the wake of last night's supposedly seismic events was Barry Sheerman telling how he was woken at 1am to be told by his constituency party that they had had phone calls from Number Ten and Yvette Cooper demanding that they haul Sheerman in and discipline him. This for floating the idea of a secret ballot of Labour members... Anyway, regardless of the words of the Great Prognosticator, I still cling to my rash prediction that Brown won't be going in June. We must never underestimate the tenacious hold of those Carp-like feet with their 'exceptional length and breadth and almost imperceptible arches'...

Broon Tackles The Hardest Word

And more news from Scotland - Broon has managed to emit the word 'sorry', which is believed to be a lifetime first for him. But note how he's using it - he declares himself 'sorry about what happened'. Not 'sorry for' - and it was just something that 'happened' . All he is saying is that he regrets what happened, i.e. that McBride was found out. Well he would, wouldn't he? Ah but he takes 'full responsibility' - and in case we doubted that, he goes on, 'I take full responsibility for what happened. That's why the person who was responsible went immediately.' But if you're taking 'full responsibility', Gordon, then 'the person who was responsible' was you, and you appear not to have gone immediately. It won't be long though, with any luck...