Tuesday 22 March 2011


Overlooking the station where, most mornings, I board the train to work is a large builders' merchants and tool hire business. It now displays a notice that proudly proclaims 'Serious about Tool Hire'. This is good to know. Don't you just hate it when you go to hire some tools and you can just tell these guys aren't serious about it? To them it's just a joke, the tool hire lark, a frivolous sideline at best, a divertissement. They care not a jot whether those tools get hired. Why, it's all they can do to keep their faces straight when the subject of tool hire is raised. In future, when I have tool hire needs, I shall shun such lightweights and scapegraces and head straight for the company that is Serious about Tool Hire. That's my kind of tool hire. Serious.


  1. Hmm, well, Serious is good, but I think on balance I'd want a company that was Passionate about tool hire.

  2. Let's cut to the chase, Nige. Have you tried Bryan's balance challenge and how many seconds did you last with your eyes closed before you toppled?

  3. Seriousness and passion are all very well. But what I look for when fulfilling my tool hire needs is Excellence.

    If you fancy a right laugh have a look at this:


    Go to 'email' and read some of the threads (by date is best). I think it's a work of dispassionately unserious excellence.

  4. Brit - you're right - that must have taken some agonised brainstorming to jettison 'passionate' in favour of 'serious'...
    Spine - I have not yet tackled that challenge - it might attract unwanted attention here at NigeCorp - but I can confidently predict that I'd last 0.5 sec at most before keeling over in a heap. My ankles, heels and sense of balance are all totall inadequate...
    Gaw - that is a veritable treasure trove - thanks for the link.

  5. I like Warm and Stimulating, which in fact was the name of a cafe I once came across. It was certainly stimulating as it was built over the edge of a precipice. Serious sounds as if they might send the boys round if the equipment is not returned in pristine condition.

  6. Pity the tool hire trade, no hedge fund profit margins there. Picture if you will the four candles setting, tool hire Fred hands over his seriously shiny and sharp implement to the dull and dim trades-person who scurries off in his white van, upon return of the asset, like it's last hiree, Fred discovers it to be seriously dull and blunt, requiring serious expenditure, what a way to earn a living, needs serious consideration, take up doctoring Fred, it's a doddle, no comeback, see.

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