This from my local freesheet:
'Disaster was narrowly averted after 21 firefighters managed to stop a blaze from an exploding she spreading to neighbouring houses.
The drama unfolded on Monday afternoon, when George Bernard Shaw discovered smoke coming from his garden shed.
When he tried to douse the flames with water, the entire structure exploded in his face and proceeded to spread to the garden.
Firefighters arrived in the nick of time before the flames could spread to a gas heater at the other end of the garden.
Mr Shaw described how he and his mother were in the house at about 4.30pm when he smelt burning, initially thinking it was his daughter's hair straighteners.
'I went to put it out with a bowl of water and as soon as I did this there was an almighty bang.
Then the grass was on fire, causing my slippers to light up.
By then I was panicking. The fire was several feet high at this point.
Next thing I know, my neighbour is trying to put out the fire with his hose.'
A fire spokesman said: 'We believe it was the aerosol cans that started it, with the amount of heat we have had.'
Mr Shaw, however, insisted that there were no aerosols in the shed, which he said contained some alcohol, garden furniture and paint.'
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I do hope the beard was saved, many people are convinced that Orpheus died whilst taking the mickey out of those bad people, the gods. Personally I think that, whilst in there looking for Eurydice, the roof of his Parnassusian shed fell on his napper.
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