Tuesday 23 July 2013

Prince X - Chanks!

When his grandparents - Charles the Cheerless and Diana the Divine - were wed, I was painting the kitchen of our first house, sustained by Fuller's Royal Wedding ale. When his father, William the Welcome, was born, it was during the first night in our second house. When news came through of the birth of Prince X, the Third in Line, yesterday evening, I was sitting in the garden enjoying the aerial manoeuvres of the Swifts - very numerous and very lively. This was before the rains came...
  Now there is the question of the Royal Naming. No doubt, as a committed Villan, William will have been keen to give the baby the names of the current Aston Villa squad, but royal protocol will have to prevail in this matter (though Villa's management has already sent Prince X a replica kit, with the letters HRH and the number 1 on the back). For similar reasons, Prince Nige is probably ruled out, alas. It seems more likely to be George - especially as this has been predicted by no less a sage than Piers Morgan.
 Earlier in the evening, as I turned to leave the off licence, I paused on the threshold, torn between 'Cheers!' and 'Thanks!' and came out with a word hitherto unknown to the English language - 'Chanks!' I hope it catches on. Meanwhile, here's to the new Prince -'Chanks!'


  1. Funnily enough my work colleague signed off a phone call today with the coinage "Chercheers", conflating 'cheerio' and 'cheers' - not as good as 'chanks' though.

    The trick is to say your new word confidently and clearly. Reminds me of that funny comedy a few years ago 'Look Around You', a pastiche of 1980s Open University/Tomorrow's World type programmes, where the presenters would introduce inexplicable portmanteau words as if they were perfectly normal. eg. following a feature on the amazing behaviours of ants and the lessons for science, the presenter said, perfectly deadpan: "Thanks ants. .... Thants."

  2. Thants for that, Brit - it was a brilliant show. Do you remember the report on casserole, the fast food of the future? 'When you hear the words fast food, you automatically think of one thing: casserole.' Cue cool young things hanging out in casserole bars etc...

  3. Cost me a fiver, the royal emergence, I had 21/07 (my own birthday) the year? that's a state secret.

    Cheerie-by was in common usage years ago, which comedian was it again?

  4. I wonder whether those people in the 80's who found the idea of a casserole bar hilarious would have found the idea of these any less so.

    Anybody know any good pick-up lines for an olive oil bar?

  5. I fear it's bound to involve Extra Virgin Peter...

  6. And possibly even cold-pressed...