Friday 19 September 2014


'See Nature, rejoicing, has shown us the way
With innocent revels to welcome the Day...'
Sorry, I was listening to Purcell on the way in. But here we are - the Union still stands, a little dazed and swaying slightly, but intact. Phew. Now we can turn our attention from the knuckle-end of England to the wider world - in particular to North Korea, whence this rather alarming story issues. It seems our old friend Kim Jong-Un is piling on the pounds, and sporting a limp. No one is quite sure whether this is in emulation of his grandfather Kim Il-Sung, 20 years dead but still Eternal President - or if this growing corpulence is down to Kim Jong-Un's addiction to Emmental cheese (the Emmental President as against the Eternal President?).
 This is a bit of a jolt for me, as I also love this particular cheese - indeed, if all other cheeses were to be thrown overboard in the general wreck, it is the one I would keep (along with the one alcoholic drink - whisky - and the one symphony, Schubert's 9th). Kim, it is reported, is trying to get his elite cheese monkeys to create a decent Emmental in North Korea, but they cannot possibly succeed: even French and Bavarian emmentals are sorry substitutes for the Swiss original. Kim will just have to keep jetting the stuff in.
 By the way, in case you were wondering what a piece of Emmental looks like, keep scrolling down on that story and you'll find a picture, alongside one of Kim Il-Sung's face. From now on, I fear, every time I slice an emmental, I'll be looking for the face of the Dear Leader.


  1. By the way - Hats off to Malty, who called the referendum vote exactly right - 55/45.

  2. PS: If it wasn't for the referendum business I'd probably never have come across the phrase 'Caledonian anitsyzygy'. It was tossed into the conversation by the wonderfully corpulent Brian Taylor on postmortem night. See Wikipedia for explanation - it has its own entry.