Tuesday, 20 October 2009
Funeral Hero
Not a companion series to the epoch-making Cravat Heroes, but simply a way to draw attention to this commendably outspoken cleric. Needless to say, I agree with the thrust of his sentiments, and am delighted a C of E vicar (obviously at the High end of the Church) dares to speak so robustly, if only on a blog. The fact is that improvisation of a funeral service invariably leads to banality and bathos - why not rely on the old, time-honoured forms, which at least lend dignity and a deeper, wider significance to the proceedings?
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I was at a funeral last week. It was padre-free, secular and dignified. We sang two decent hymns.
ReplyDeleteOops, not quite right; not entirely secular. Presumably for the Christians present, we did recite the Lord's Prayer - unfortunately in a version into which some hooligan had intruded "debts" and "debtors". Dear God.
ReplyDeleteI'm afraid the more authentic voice of the Church is found at the end of the article in the opinion of the CofE spokesman:
ReplyDelete'Everyone is entitled to their own opinion regarding the content of a funeral.'
...which is either a meaningless platitude or a rejection of Father Ed's stand. The usual wish-wash.
'The best our secularist friends can hope for is a poem from Nan combined with a saccharine message from a pop star before being popped in the oven with no hope of resurrection.
ReplyDeleteVicar, allow me to buy you a drink. My niece was married a couple of years ago and my sister announced to the family approvingly that the lovebirds "didn't want any religious content". Hmm. The ceremony was in a commercial chapel built to look vaguely 19th century to those who had never seen a 19th century chapel and the service was performed by a minister-for-hire who presumably specialized in religious services with no religious content. Nary a prayer nor hymn to be heard and the vows were almost self-parody--they promised to be best friends and help each other be themselves. If memory serves, the music was Celine Dionne. No-cost solemnity. All I could think was where is Evelyn Waugh when you need him.
Sometimes there is nothing for a curmudgeon to do but retire to bed early with Chesterton.
Thanks for that Peter - I didn't know the Chesterton - brilliant! And you're so right about weddings too - ghastly...
ReplyDeleteNot keen on all this upstart church business, personally I think we need a return to good old fashioned longship burning.
ReplyDeleteSinging hymns at small funerals or weddings, where the majority of the congregation never sets foot in a chuch except at small funerals or weddings, is so painful though. One or two singing with gusto if you're lucky, the rest croaking, mumbling self-consciously or just out-and-out miming. Cringe.
ReplyDeleteTalking of cringe, I've said this before somewhere, but it is testament to the extraordinary greatness of Sinatra that he could make even My Way, the lyrics of which are the biggest pile of tosh ever written, sound ok.
Good point, Brit, the churches just can't seem to get rid of those awful Victorian dirges. Maybe they should counterattack against content-free tradition with content-rich modern. How about Our Lord singing "My Way"?
ReplyDeleteAha Brit - you've entered 'biggest pile of tosh ever written' territory - an entire discipline in itself. In terms of words, what about Candle in the Wind - no doubt popular at funerals - or Where Do You Go To My Lovely? (no doubt not so popular)...
ReplyDeleteMy old man went to the same school as Peter Sarstedt, so Where do you go to my lovely is officially not tosh (even though it is). I kind of like it though, tosh as it is. It was used to good effect in The Darjeeling Limited.
ReplyDeleteMy cousin, a funeral director for most of his working life, retired in disgust some years ago, as the owner of a fine baritone voice he had, from the back, for many years led the singing at many a funeral and would move heaven and earth to dissuade the relatives from choosing "heathen dirges" as he called them. As he remarked "you won't get me singing anything by that Pace and the Gerrymakers" (apologies to Arthur Askey)
ReplyDeleteWho?
Arthur Askey, little bloke, sang about bees.
Blimey Brit, Sarstedt, singer of the most pretentious song ever penned, chucked in just about every wannabes icon in the book.
ReplyDeleteA strange rumour circulated that he was Paul McCartneys brother, false, of course?
...You get, an even suntan, on your back, and on your legs, oh yes you do, oh no you don't, ahahaha, he's behind you, oh yes he is, oh no he isn't...
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ReplyDeleteAh Malty - a long time since anyone apologised to Arthur Askey, even on this blog.
ReplyDeleteThe Pope's cunning announcement today sounds made for clergymen like this one. I'd guess the attraction of the Catholics is that they offer "no compromise" quality control. When it comes to important rituals and rites it is full on or not on at all at the Pope's place, whereas the C of E feels it has to offer a model to suit all tastes. Oh well. Thank heavens it's none of my business. One of the difficulties, perhaps, is that our idea of a "funeral", what it is and what it is for, gets more and more perfunctory as the decades pass. At this rate the whole thing will be down to two minutes by 2030.
ReplyDeletePerhaps the most practical send off comes from India, stick 'em on the roof and let the crows have them, bones are a bit of a nuisance though.
ReplyDeleteCawing crows not the same as abide with me, though but.
So-called, traditional services epitomize banality and bathos.
ReplyDeleteThis is a sad reflection of society today ... but one can go to the opposite extreme: my father has already requested Elgar's cello concerto for his funeral (to be played in full!) I think a good old fashioned hymn asking our dear lord and father to forgive his foolish ways might be more appropriate
ReplyDeleteMy grandmother was buried to the theme song from 'Titanic'. Though I didn't attend the funeral, I have this image of her being lowered into her grave, prow first and with the stern high with propellers still spinning.
ReplyDelete