Wednesday, 20 March 2013

If I Ruled the World...

Today is the Vernal Equinox - the First Day of Spring, though you wouldn't know it from the weather. If I ruled the world, every day would be the first day of spring - and hang the consequences. With iron will and immovable resolve, I would sit out the ensuing calendrical confusion. 'What about the rest of spring?' they will ask pitifully. 'When are we going to get that?' Pygmies, blind to the grandeur of my mighty scheme! They return, mopping their brows and fanning themselves. 'Surely,' they moan, 'this is summer - it is not the first day of spring!' Purblind moral midgets - I dismiss their mean-minded whining. Shivering and clapping their hands together for warmth, back they come. 'It is winter!' they proclaim in their blind ignorance. 'Winter is upon us!' I dismiss them with the scorn they richly deserve, and the days pass - and lo, it is the first day of spring again! And again. And again. And again... Eventually I am overthrown in a popular revolt, fomented by reactionary calendrist elements, and banished. In my brooding exile, I begin to write letters. 'Today,' each letter begins, 'is the first day of spring. My heart is heavy...'

7 comments:

  1. FYI, I was in the past a visitor who commented, but I have been besieged by "spam" follow-up comments in the name of Anonymous via your blog site. I have tried to "unsubscribe" but have had no success--i.e., the annoying "spams" continue. Perhaps you should do something from your end to stop the intrusive comments.

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  2. 2 fun comments, yawn! I.M.H.O. they should go boil their heads...4.5mins, leaves the brain still runny, anon#2

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  3. And so to my grist...you seem, finally to have fallen out of.your cot.....not unexpected, "so much reading, so many still lifes" i once observed, "will make the man mad!". Alll righted-minded folk agree that every day should be the First day of Summer...jus' statin' a fac' !

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  4. Oh, anon #2 !

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