Friday, 12 June 2009

From the Annals of Human Folly

Glancing at my local freesheet last night, I noticed that this whackjob was in town (or rather suburb), ticking off our Starbucks branches - mercifully few, I'm happy to report, and we even have a couple of entirely independent coffee shops. 'Winter' has ticked off 9,000 Starbucks or thereabouts, and is aiming to catch the remaining 3,000 before they disappear. Seldom in the annals of human folly has so much effort and planning been put into such a worse-than-futile - indeed, bordering on suicidal - enterprise. By the sound of him, 'Winter' might soon be permanently incapacitated by the cumulative toxic effects of all those cardboard pails of brown dishwater. Of course, this could be that renowned Starbucks fan Bryan working in deep cover - that would explain his mysterious absences from his blog...
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8 comments:

  1. malty12 June 2009 at 12:34

    Throughout history there has been a number of lethal combinations alien to the human race, non more so than the Edinburgh branch of Borders books which has a Starbucks deeply embedded in it.

    Come to think of it the new combination fronting Springwatch needs carefull handling.

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  2. Nige12 June 2009 at 12:40

    Yes that Chris Packham seems even weirder than Oddie. A very strange man...

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  3. Brit12 June 2009 at 12:49

    'Winter' apparently suffers from the problem of taking himself and his tiresome lunacy seriously.

    So, like David Blaine, he misses the 'lovable eccentric' box and lands squarely in the one marked 'dickhead'.

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  4. Mark12 June 2009 at 13:32

    This comment has been removed by the author.

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  5. Nige12 June 2009 at 13:36

    Ha! Yes Mark -that's just what it was like. Strangely uninvolving and slightly creepy - still, the animals were good.

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  6. Gareth Williams12 June 2009 at 16:04

    I keep meaning to write something about Springwatch. It's as anthropomorphic as Jonny Morris.

    I wouldn't mind it so much but it's always so benign: the comparisons are always with people doing nice things. This gives human nature too much of a break and is just form of species self-flattery.

    How about: 'Oh, look there's a fox. Ooh, he appears to be acting like some sort of bloodthirsty psychopath in senselessly massacring those chicks even though he can't eat them all. Oh dear, he's dismembered one or two. I wonder if he's going to hide the body parts all over the countryside like in that recent murder?' Perhaps not.

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  7. malty12 June 2009 at 17:22

    Bit harsh Gaw, Kate, after all, well, wouldn't you.

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  8. Gareth Williams12 June 2009 at 21:19

    Malty, you've inspired me to read a whole new meaning into 'Springwatch'. As P.Larkin celebrated the outdoor joys Spring brings in its wake: 'Hurray, hurray, it's the first of May, outdoor f***ing begins today'. Now there's a programme...

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