Thursday 5 March 2009

If Beer Drank...

Yesterday I noticed a poster for Young's beer (a brew to which, as a south Londoner, I have a strong sentimental attachment). Here's what it said:
'If beer drank, it would drink Young's.'
Hmmm bit of an epistemological poser in there somewhere, I suspect... But if it means anything, I suppose it means that Young's is, as it were, the beers' beer. Beer itself would choose Young's as its preferred tipple. Can this be extended to other areas? If wine drank... no, the field's too big. If whisky drank... no, I don't think so. If biscuits ate biscuits... If cars drove cars... If blogs read blogs...?


  1. This reminds me of a joke I heard on an old Jack Benny program last weekend.

    Jack's bandleader, Bob Crosby, was explaining why he'd hired a piccolo player for the band.

    "Well, Jack, you might say he's what they call a 'musician's musician.'"

    "How's that?"

    "He owns a liquor store."

  2. Ah brilliant - thanks for that, Levi!

  3. Levi's tale Reminds me of a story by Peter Ustinov: Backstage, a very old prompter insists on buttonholing Ustinov every time he passes and passing on a titbit of 'wisdom' to the point where Ustinov is trying to avoid him. After a few sucesses he's caught again on his way on stage. "Ah, Mr Ustinov" says the prompter, looking through at the orchestra. Long silence......."Very fast instrument, the piccolo.

  4. That may not be very far from the truth Nige, there is an excellent Brauhaus in Wiesbaden, name withheld for selfish reasons, as well as the delights of an afternoon spent there waiting for the return of shoppers, you can leave with the end product in a misc. range of containers, deposit to be left.
    Folk lore has it that the Weissbier, if mixed with Vaux, the fizzy stuff from Eltville (as seen in Stephen Frys recent documentary on Gutenberg) causes the Bier to consume some of the wine, so enhancing the, glug glug bier.
    Incidentally, Eltville is one of the Rhine's hidden splendours, mediaeval with a walled English rose garden and some of the best restaurants in Germany.

  5. Muggsy Spanier was the cornet players' cornet player. Asked to show off with some silly high notes he replied "Hire a piccolo player".

  6. "Muggsy Spanier was the cornet players' cornet player."

    Best sentence I've read in a while. Must try to smuggle that into my discourse.