Wednesday, 15 April 2009

More Estate Agents, Please

Here's another 'initiative', this one unveiled yesterday by that irrepressible little scallywag Weeble Blears. It all sounds very dreary and pointless. What our high streets really need are more estate agents - there just aren't enough of them these days. Not real estate agents of course, but pretend ones - they could be played by unemployed estate agents, it would be good therapy for them. These 'estate agents' could sit in their offices all day, wearing awful suits and ties, pretending to be doing important things on the phone, while their windows fill up with lots of pretend houses for sale at inflated prices. At a stroke, walking down the high street would be just like the old days, and confidence - that crucial factor - would rise no end, making us feel that happy days are here again, all's well with the world and it's high time we started spending money, taking out massive loans and returning the country to the boom years... Of course there's just the off chance it might not work. Any other ideas?
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6 comments:

  1. malty15 April 2009 at 19:07

    Excellent idea Nige, our local mob, Poo faced blonde and misc Somali pirates ltd, have become somewhat depleted of late, the majority of 'em now engaged as job seekers allowance claimants and day time tele watchers.
    I suggest Oxfam making a corner for them among the Frank Ifield video tapes and giving them unconnected telephones, first nailing their feet to the floor, they can sit there all day and longingly watch Mini's drive by.

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  2. Brit16 April 2009 at 09:08

    How about some pretend Woolworths? It would give the old folk a warm glow and wouldn't matter that they are empty of customers and don't sell anything, because Woolies was like that anyway.

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  3. will16 April 2009 at 09:37

    I would like there to be more pretend mongers, coster, fish,iron or war - I'm not fussy.

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  4. Nige16 April 2009 at 10:11

    And how about milliners, hatters and glovers, haberdashers, corn chandlers? Would be useful for filming period dramas - break the monopoly of Lacock...

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  5. Recusant16 April 2009 at 10:52

    And the hop factors, Nige, Don't forget the hop factors.

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  6. Hip_Priest16 April 2009 at 11:06

    Nige, I'm afraid the link you provide is a hoax. There is a link to the "CommunitiesUK" twitter page at the bottom. I'm not daft enough to fall for that!

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